Being a soldier is a tough job. You have to accept your assignments and be deployed in different countries. There are times that you have to face the war and leave your family behind because you must serve and protect your country. Being a soldier is a choice. Being deployed in countries at war is your sworn duty to the country. But what does it say about your family? How do they react whenever they hear news about your deployment? How does everyone in the family adjust before, during, and after your deployment?
Young mothers who are wives of the deployed military men are left alone with their kids to face their everyday lives without their husbands. Raising a kid alone is difficult, but certain factors make it a bit harder when you fear that your partner’s life is in constant danger. It is always a proud moment to send off your husband for deployment because he will carry out his sworn duty to the government.
Here are the things that military wives should expect:
1. A mother should be strong for her kids.
You should be mentally and emotionally strong for your kids. Having a soldier for a husband means you constantly fear that he is in danger in the field. There is this feeling that your husband has one foot on his grave every day that he performs his duty as a soldier. Showing your kids that you are a strong independent woman will make them believe that their father will return soon, safe and sound.
2. They get so much anxiety.
Marrying a soldier means you accept that his priority is the safety and protection of the country. You don’t have to fight the system but instead, be vigilant with the events happening in the field. Being anxious over your husband’s deployment will reflect in your work, and your kids will see how it affects you. Thus, mothers have been keen on not showing their anxiety by keeping busy with their work and kids.
3. Some seek professional help and guidance.
Coping with trauma can trigger a lot of emotions, and often these emotions clash against each other. There is no harm in seeking professional advice on how to deal with such feelings. Living with a soldier who had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD after deployment can be a challenge; ensure that you can claim social security benefits to help in his state or condition. You have to be sensitive to all his needs and analyze the emotions that he is currently experiencing. And in some cases, it is not just the soldier who experiences PTSD but also the children. Seeking professional help will clear all the troubles you have when dealing with the news about the war. A behavioral health care professional will discuss the military culture and other unique instances that a military family will face. These people are equipped with skills that can help military family members cope with challenges in their everyday lives.
4. Having friends whom they can talk to.
People, in general, can cope with everything if they have someone they can share their thoughts, feelings, and emotions. It does not mean they have to be intimate with someone to get to talk. Telling someone what you feel and think of releases the burden and anxiety of being alone. Be a friend and listen to their stories because the wives of these soldiers also need to vent out their troubled minds and let out their fear for the lives of their husbands.
5. Keep the connection.
Updating your status can uplift a negative emotion. Knowing what is happening at home and work can be a stress reliever for some. Sometimes, this will make a wife’s day complete, knowing that her husband is safe from any harm. The safety of her loved ones is what matters most for a mother. This is what keeps them going – the knowledge that their husband is safe and out of harm’s way.
6. They have developed patience.
These young wives of soldiers have developed how to be patient in all kinds of situations. They keep their calm as they await the return of their husbands from the war. They patiently wait for any news from their husband’s deployment. They remain calm as they take care of their husbands upon their return from deployment. They have unwavering hearts that would help their partners who need counseling and behavioral guidance, and intervention.
Being a young wife is a challenge a woman has to face with courage. To marry a soldier, a woman has to be braver and tougher, for she will face challenges that will make or break their marriage early on.
Living their lives through war is traumatic, stressful, scarring, and in some cases, depressing. Showing these war veterans some love and support can ease that burden, anxiety, stress, and trauma they have experienced. You don’t have to block their memories so they can live their lives, but you can make life a lot easier for them if you would show some love and care. It may be a tough life be a soldier’s wife, but it is a choice they made and a vow to keep until the end of their lives.